| MUSIC IS "JAZZJAM" |
Lost For Words... Our English language stems from centuries Of Anglo-Saxon, Celt and Norman entries Not to forget the Romans and the Danes And others who went to similar pains. So now the English language stands alone We relish every piece of Shakespeare's tone; Can we improve upon perfection? Perhaps we can, upon reflection. Our literary experts freak About non-rhyming English-speak How can it be true That "sew" does not match up with "few" Still more, there is a yet non-invented verse To make the situation worse and worse. Behold the as-yet undiscovered words. Why should L have Lamp and Limp and Lump Lacking still a Lemp and Lomp, While Bump and Jump stand all alone - No Bamp or Jimp or even Bomp. And R survives with Ramp and Romp and Rump; But where are Rimp and Remp? Poor D exists with Damp and Dump, Unlucky Camp stands on its own. And other words must cry at night Because they share that awful plight Of being words that have a sound For which no meaning is yet found. Could it be that Fost and Fust Will linger in perpetual rust; Hend and Hond and Hund await Promotion to the language great. Can all the wasted vowels be used Or will it make us more confused? Then we would find that Shakespeare's tongue So stretched out to the furthest rung, When use of Bemp and Demp and Jemp abounds To force us into different sounds One day a Government decree may state That there is need to legislate Due to the dearth of legal refrain We must perforce the new words entertain. But should we all the words employ How can we find it to enjoy Upon resorting to the dictionary To learn that all new words are fictionary. Perhaps there is a world Where all these words have been unfurled? N. J. Goyen Copyright N.J. Goyen All rights reserved. |
who've been following Cambridge University's...Er, interesting... attempts to add ever more homonyms to the English language, here's a few options. Try reading Fowler before stuffing up the usage any more, lads. |
| THE BOOKS |
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usually $5-10.00 US each for e-books and various prices for hard copies. (PDF format) (The link above is a direct link to my store. Thumbnails also link directly to the store, and will open in a new browser window.) PLEASE NOTE: THESE THINGS ARE NOT THE USUAL E-BOOK 20 PAGE BROCHURES, SOME OF THEM ARE 1.5 MB, AND THE ORIGINALS ARE OVER 300 PAGES. IMPORTANT: CONTACT ME IF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEMS. |
preferred writing style and subject matter, purely creative. The Threat- Hamster Papers, Mimbly Tales, and Wanderlaugh are an attempt to get away from the inflexible, pedantic styles of commercial writing, as well as a lot of fun. If anyone has as much fun reading these books as I had writing them, they're a good deal. |
form of the original Threat-Hamster idea. It's one of my all time favorites. The stories are based on the neo- Celtic idea, and the Idea of Ultimate Comfort, when I came up with it, was irresistible to explore. |
opera, as well as being my internet name. It's a book which is more free-form than the two previous Threat-Hamsters, and the intro is the basis for a new style of writing I'm trying to develop. |
was originally written ten years before, but I wasn't happy with the way it was working. This version was written as much by the characters as myself. It's set in my home town of Sydney, it's fun, and it's a blast to write. |
| Gardening is written in the Anglophile style, for which I refuse to apologize. It's just plain fun, it's written for gardeners and their long suffering families, and gardeners will recognize the mindsets. |
| Gothic Black started as a series of horror stories I didn't want to include in the new Threat-Hamster. It grew into an idea in its own right. From the Toothpaste Man of Pithcurdle to Moth The Monster and the War of the Undead was just a step. Writers will understand what's so horrible about the Revenge piece below. |
be a long hard slog, as I've discovered. It all has to be learned. This is a short book, but a very necessary one, no added sweetener included. |
see on every writer's forum, plagued by The Writer's Curse. It is beatable, and this is how you do it. |
customer service. To me, the lousy service, shoddy products, and lack of comprehension are all part of a failed society. This book is from the coal face. |
A study in character, or how to live with yourself on your own terms. Fun to write, but a bit more serious than my normal stuff. |
The Good Manager is
about the basics of
managing like a human
being, not a zombie.
Couldn't really resist
writing this one.
about the basics of
managing like a human
being, not a zombie.
Couldn't really resist
writing this one.